she had his past, i couldn't deny that. it didn't bother me though,
i only want his future.
Thursday, December 25, 2008there she goes again, whispering in my ear. sometimes I think I hear her say I'm going to die.
Alright! Merry Christmas. I haven't updated in forever, but I started reading THE HEROINE DIARIES by nikki sixx. which i recieved from hayden for christmas - and i realized how important it is to keep a log of my past, err. rather - my present. "i'm so scared your world is going to change without me" i've been so good this past while i don't remmeber if i posted since i was really bad but i got so horrible and then i got really good and now i'm back down again i'm not quite sure what it is i need - but it might have to do with the fact i've worked so fucking much. i can't even believe this week - this horrible and dreaded week of a billion hours of work straight has been. it felt like yesterday i looked at my small sheet of paper that had my hours on it - and almost crying because i realized how shitty the next week would be it's almost over and i'm so happy. i feel so fucking empty though. i want to sleep - i just want to be knocked out for hours i want to be out until i have something i need to do. last night i was drenched from head to toe and was splashed by oncoming traffic about a hundred times. i finally got home - to find my mother let off of work early and to find out that she had been home and tried to pick me up that entire hour and a half of trying to get home felt like a dream mixed with tears, mud, and slush i felt dead i dont know what to do to feeeeel.
i want to take a bath but i dun fit :( i think i just might though, i'm not sure i need a massage
yesterday my dad went for his first big cancer intervenus thing and he says he feels 10000x better i'm so happy to see him smile. tomorrow a hwole bunch of family is coming down and i work 1-6 :c time and a half though i'm gonna get paid like a fat hoe. im so fuckign pumped for this paycheque i'm scared it's not gonna be that big. but it feels like it should be!! lmao i just calculated it it should be around 350$ OFDKGHFDKGJDHF plus stat holiday im so pummmmmmmmmped
tonight it hink im going ot trishes christmas :) i gotta shower bai
- xoxo. ekra 12:41 PM
erica
resurrection
grade 11
16
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